It Doesn’t Have to be Boring — How to spice up your relationship.

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Why should you spice up your relationship?

To most people, it means dull. It’s human nature to want something different still until we get used to the familiar. The first reason you’re going to spice up your relationship is to make sure it doesn’t get boring. If it’s dull, no big deal, spice it up to get it out of the zone.

The second explanation is to stop breaking up. People break up when the relationship is boring. Then they cover the real reason for the split, using other superficial stuff like, “she’s got big ears,” “he’s got a babyface.” You didn’t know that before you started a relationship with them?

But why is this the problem after 3–5 months?

For those who stay in a “boring” relationship without improving it, the third reason contributes to unhappiness. That’s because, at this point, it’s clear that the relationship is boring, but the couple is not ready either to make it right or to let it go.

At what point should you spice up your relationship

Let me share a personal experience: I’ve been in a relationship with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met for three years. We were 100 % positive that our relationship was rock solid, and we didn’t need anything special. We have problems like marriages, but we still fix them as soon as possible. We were, and still are, mad about each other.

Some time ago, we were at a stage where we felt we could be our relationship position. A few weeks later, a strange thing happened — we had to be at the same location at the same time for a 3-week graduation orientation. In those three weeks, we’ve seen each other every day. When we got back, we found that the experience of spending so long together made us closer than we could have ever expected, even though we thought we were in a “perfect” zone.

That experience has taught us something — you shouldn’t wait until your partnership becomes a mere routine before you can spic it up. To my girlfriend and me, we were as close to each other as humanly possible and, thus, we didn’t need anything else at that time. We’ve always been waiting for our relationship to get boring before we should take action. This isn’t meant to be so. Vacations shouldn’t be just because you or your partner are pulling away. Date nights aren’t all meant to be his / her birthday. Love Texts aren’t ever meant to work on your birthday or your relationship anniversary.

Spice up your relationship not only when it’s dull but also when things look all rosy.

How to Spice Things Up When You’re Bored in a Relationship

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It happens in the best of relationships: inevitably, one or both parties begin to get a little bored. A lot of times, this might be the end of a friendship. However, it doesn’t have to be. Growing bored in a romantic life doesn’t mean it’s time to put an end to things. It just means that it’s time for you to find ways for you and your girlfriend to stop getting bored. Here are five things that can help you spice things up when you or your lady start to get bored in that spirit’s relationship life.

Role Play

Maybe things got a little stale in the bedroom, and you want to spice things up, so you’re both getting less lonely in the relationship tedium. There’s a quick way to do that: you can become someone else. Speak to each other about your darkest desires, and find ways to play them. There are many tools for you and your girlfriend to read on how you can play a sexual role in your relationship and get rid of boredom.

Staycation Together

Here’s a way to change things, add some fresh air to your relationship, and get rid of a bit of boredom: go on a stay together. Rent a motel room in your town and get a little time away from home. The relationship often wants a slight change of scenery to dust up the cobwebs and put a little light into it, chasing the boredom away. Only give it a shot. Your girl’s going to love it because it’s sort of like being a kid again, except for an adult’s bank account.

Make Her Laugh, Make Her Smile

Women love a man who makes them laugh. Even more than that, they love a man who can make them smile from the depths of their being. If you can get her to laugh again the same way you did when the two of you started dating for the first time, you’re going to make a big move towards getting rid of the trend of “bored in the relationship.” If you can get her to smile, with that pink glow that shows true happiness, that’s when you’ve got more than a foot in the door to get the boredom out of your lives.

Small Favors Make a Big Difference

Small favors will remind her why you liked her in the first place. Think stuff like getting her the little thing she loves that only you know. Or maybe even making dishes before she even gets home from work, a back rub in front of her bed, or preparing her dinner. These are the small things that can make a huge difference in a relationship.

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3 Ways To Spice Up A Boring Marriage And Relationship

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After the wedding, many couples will sense a decline, and they’re beginning to get bored, says Rachel A. Sussman, L.C.S.W., author of The Breakup Bible. “The excitement of dating has passed, the excitement of falling in love has passed, the excitement of the marriage and the wedding has passed, and then it has stalled,” she says.

Here’s what it means if your relationship is going to be dull — and how to get out of the way without breaking up.

Step 1: Stop Worrying

If the two of you have been together for a while, getting bored at some stage is pretty unavoidable. We get tired of the same routine in every area of our lives — jobs, exercise habits — and that goes for our relationships, too.

So, what are you doing?

Well, you could split up and switch from relationship to relationship, still end it when you get bored. Or, if you trust your partner and want it to succeed, move on to the next two stages.

Step 2: Figure Out the Root Cause

Next, decide if it’s just boredom or something more extraordinary. Although feeling uninspired in a relationship can be a widespread problem, it may also point to the underlying issues. Sussman suggests asking yourself the following questions to determine the damage:

  • Are you still having sex with them?
  • Are you wondering if you’re attracted to this guy or not?
  • Are you on the same page when it comes to family and friendship?
  • Are you arguing about finances or work/life balance?
  • Are you curious if you have something in common?
  • Do you worry like you’re growing apart?

If the answer is yes to all of these, then you have more than a case of boredom. If you’re feeling a little restless, ask yourself if you’re feeling lost in other parts of your life.

“You’ve got to have harmony. Relationships can’t be all of yours,” Sussman says.

If you feel good in other aspects of your life, it’s time to have an honest talk with your partner about what you can do to spice things up.

Step 3: Make a Plan

Now, the fun part of it. Sussman says that she and her husband have overcome their relationship with boredom by arranging a holiday together.

“We’ve not only arranged a trip to Italy, but we’ve also agreed to take Italian lessons for the next six months,” she says. “We learned together, we challenged each other, we cooked Italian food on the weekends,” she says. “So, by the time we went on our tour, it was so improved because of that.”

Try to figure out what part of your relationship is boring to you. Is it the lulls in the conversation? If so, hit a museum or read a book together to get things moving. Has your sex life become a regular thing? Then change things with the bare Sundays.

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